My sleepless night

Ryan's been out of town to go to his Grandpa's funeral. So I've been holding down the fort here with my Crazy balls of energy. Last night as we were doing our LONG bedtime routine of reading story's, brushing teeth, saying prayers, giving kisses, getting drinks OK on and on it goes. I just got everyone settled down when here comes Trevor. He asks so deeply concerned. "Mom what do I do if someone breaks in at night and kills you?" OK something I was trying to not think about. I hate it when Ryan travels and I'm home alone. Especially here where we only have 3 neighbors right now and live on a green belt where any creepy person could be lurking around. I reassured Trevor there was nothing to worry about tucked him back in gave him a back rub to calm him down and he was out sleeping peacefully. Me on the other hand couldn't get that question out of my head. And as the night went on I got more and more frightened by the possibility. After checking on the kids 3,000 times and making sure all the doors and windows were shut 10,000 times around 4:30 I couldn't take the sleep deprivation anymore so I armed my self with a phone and a lamp. (OH scary for the man that is going to come in and kill me) My toughs were I'd hit him over the head with the lamp and then call 911 as I lock myself in the kids room hopefully having enough time to gather all of them. I kept playing out different situations of what I would do and finally after looking at the clock at 4:45 the last time I fell asleep. Only to be awakened at 5:30 by my early risers. Needless to say today I'm a little jittery and can't wait for Ryan to be home tonight :)