Changing my Nottingham.

When I was a kid my favorite Cartoon  was Robin hood.  I had every song memorized and I loved more then anything watching it curled up next to my Dad.  He would repeat our favorite parts and always sing.  The Not in Nottingham song with me.  The 1st part goes "Every town has it ups and downs.  Sometimes ups out number the downs but not in Nottingham."   The last few months of my life have been my Nottingham.  I wanted to write down how I'm feeling with all this so that one day I can look back and learn from this experience.  It's been a tough one.  After Gavin the dr's told me I couldn't have any more children.  While that was really hard for me to accept I felt very blessed and grateful that I was able to have 3 amazing boys who were healthy and perfect.   My body just didn't recover from my last birth. So a few years ago I had to have a little procedure.  It was a life saver and I felt like I would never have to re visit this issue.  Until a few months ago.

   I've been going to this Amazing Chiropractor and have had tons of pains in my left side.  As she was adjusting me she said there is something going on in my uterus and that I needed to go see my OB.  I really drug my feet thinking the pain would just go away but it didn't. My pain was diagnosed as fibroid.  I was so glad to hear that's all it was and that they would more the likely go away or not bug me soon.  This was in Jan.

  Fast forward a few more months.  I was really in pain now piercing pain every time I sneezed or breath to hard.  So I went back to the dr.  to find that the growths have doubled in size in just a few short months.  Then the scary new came with her saying it could be CANCER and she wanted me to do a bunch of tests.  My Aunt died of uterine cancer at a young age so they were not taking any chances.  So for 3 weeks I've been in the dr's office almost every day doing one test of another.  As I was setting with my IV in waiting for the CT scan I couldn't help but think of all my sweet friends and family that have gone through this. And the result was Cancer.

   At this point I didnt' want to tell anyone because I didn't know what I was facing.  It was a scary feeling, and I put myself in a very lonely place.  When the test came back they called me and told me they wanted me to see a general surgeon as they found spots on  my spleen as well.  Great another thing.  So after going to him and then off to another MRI  finally all the test came back. That time waiting for the test was the worst.  I couldn't sleep or function and finally I had to break down and tell my family.  Which were understandable upset I didn't tell them in the 1st place.  I just hate burdening people and didn't want anyone to worry until I knew what we needed to battle.

  While they can't say it for 100% isn't Cancer  until they biopsy the tumors they did rule it out.  Which was a huge sigh of relief.  All my growths were in a uniform shape and pattern so it's more then likely fibroid and cysts on my spleen. They also found a lei son on my liver.  I was super frustrated because I try to be as healthy as possible.  I always take my supplements and try to eat right.  I've never drank, smoked, or done drugs and I was confused as to why I'm growing all these "tumors" as they say.  But once they said it doesn't look like cancer I could handle what ever they threw at me. My empathy  increased ten fold to all the strong people I've watched and know who had to battle cancer, many survived and some lost the battle.  Just hearing the word was devastating and I feel so blessed to have escaped it this time.  

 Sadly I do have to have surgery the end of June. It's Ryan's end of quarter and I usually don't see him all of May and June so it's going to be a challenge but I'll be so glad to get it taken care of.  It's going to be a tough recovery as I have to get cut from hip to hip as they remove a few things from my body.  I'm grateful that my family has all been so supportive. And say they will come to TX in the dead of heat to help me out when and what ever is needed.   I also couldn't of asked for a better Husband who has been by my side helping me so much and keeping me strong.  

This has rocked my world a little, I hate having zero energy and trying to accomplish all the things I have to do. But I'm hoping when this is all said and done I will be back to my happy healthy self.  I can have my house spotless again, I can volunteer more and  have enough energy to keep up with my kids.  I'm changing my Nottingham to where I have more Up's then downs. Just got to get over the hurdles 1st.